The more features in common, more important to be able to differentiate

A is very different from Z.
A is like and upside down V.
When learning the alphabet visually, learners require less instructional intervention to differentiate A from Z.  Remembering that A is not V seems to pose more challenge.

Knowing this perceptual axiom operates in human learning, think about how you would  rate (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) the following pairs for ease of differentiation (1=hard to differentiate; 5=easy to differentiate):

1. A vs O
2. A vs B
3. C vs O
4. I vs. O
5. E vs B
6. T vs I
7. D vs A
8. D vs O
9. F vs E
10. F vs B

Through this exercise, we learn that the more features item or event (x) has in common with another item/event (y), the more thoroughly we must examine their similarities and differences in order to tell them apart.  

Practical Application for Parents and Teachers: 

If we want our children to more quickly change their behaviors from the kind we disapprove of to the kind we approve of then we must make it easy for them to differentiate.  Smiles and affable talk clearly indicate parents and teachers approve of the behavior displayed.  Neutral face with a firmly stated "No"(or some equivalent of "No") typically indicates disapproval -with an explicit or implicit invitation to shift to an approved behavior.

We make it  hard for chidren learn to control their impulses (i.e.,  master the necessary shifting to approved behaviors)  when we muddle our verbal, voice tone, and body language cues.  When we mix communication features of a YES vs NO, we delay the development of impulse control.  We make it harder for learners to distinctions between our "approving" and "disapproving" responses to their behaviors.  This delays development of their ability to eventually "self-regulate."

We send mixed messages to our children when we disapprove but smile ... or talk sweetly. this hardly means adults need to speak harshly or loudly or use aggressive strategies like character assassination, disparaging labels, cruelty or meanness.  A simple statement of disapproval  -coupled with natural/logical consequences - consistently applied will do more to shape behavior, than punishment, or enduring parental exasperation. 

 The more important it is to select an appropriate response to x vs y, the more important it is to differentiate between them.  This is true for all life forms, regardless of age or species.  Parents and teachers who cultivate paying positive attention to children, build up a positive emotional/relational bank account!  When children get the positive guidance and consistent attention needed to strengthen bonds as children evolve - they are less likely to seek attention through unpleasant and irritating means. They are also more likely to engage those things we want them to accomplish when they have recieved recognition for these things consistently in the past.

Dr. Carol Dweck, Ph.D. reminds us also to be very careful to recognize and reward the effort exerted.  When focus is placed on the effort given a task, children learn that time and accuracy matter -which they do.  The single greatest factor determining school success is time on task.  Just spending time on a task, without persistent effort to become more accurate, just makes us better at being inaccurate! Practicing reading books that are too hard for us, turns us off from reading, and does nothing to build fluency and vocabularly.  Careless practice of anything simply reinforces carelessness.

Dr. Dweck reminds us that children who have been admired and recognized for their "cleverness" or "smartness," (in contrast to the effort they willingly engage), eventually refrain from engaging anything that is not immediately easy and rewarding.  Their positive identities have been tied to being so clever or being so smart...they do not want to risk diminishing this image -so they begin to decline challenges, become defensive.  As they age they learn different ways to hide the fact that they do not really know -and asking for help becomes a sign they are no longer "smart" enough, "clever" enough.

To avoid this result, be observant of the many opportunities we have in a morning, day, weekend, and week to "outloud" recognize our children's effort and those specific behaviors displayed while exerting these efforts.  When we consistently  recognize and compliment specific efforts, our children will also.  this is how children continue to grow in competancy and self-esteem.  They come to realize that growth is change...and the effort they exert makes change reliable.

EXAMPLE: I notice you put our clothes for tomorrow out on the chair as I asked you.  You did it the first time I asked you.  You did not whine or complain.  Also, you cheerfully asked me questions about whether or not this or that peice of clothing was appropriate for school.  You even walked into the kitchen to ask your wuestions, instead of yelling from the other room.  I really appreciate the time you took and each of your efforts to follow my guidance.  You did it on time!  And you aksed for my help in pleasant ways.  I am proud of the ways you are working to help yourself grow more skillful.

 

On "cultivated attentiveness" p. 58

"A good captain wakes as soon as the wind veers or the rhythm of the wave slapping at the hull increases. Waking in response to change..."is a sign of a good captain, a responsible captain, a leader with whom those on board can be safe.


Curently in our workplaces, we may feel so pressed to seal the deal, rake in extra bucks, raise kids' test scores that we easily (in streams of exhausting stress) lose sight of the forest for all the trees bombarding us.  Distress obscures our capacity to "differentiate" - to detect features that distinguish a from b.  


Under perceived duress, we veer towards less resourceful responses.  We tend to react from our limited store of overlearned, overpracticed beliefs and behaviors.  Pressure and distress compromise our capacity to detect crucially different features of a situation, telltale shifts within our environment.  We just do more of whatever we most commonly did in the past.  Intended changes become short-changed.


Succumbing to pressures from within or without,  jeopardizes our ability to see the whole picture.  It throws a wrench in normally mindful ways of assessing the extent to which "parts" or incidents are balanced within the whole.  Trends are obscured.  We more readily stay stuck in the "same old, same old"cycles.  Extended cylces of unhealthy stress obscure detection and selection of optimal responses.  


Consider how the captains in our workplace may be guiding, leading from this disadvantaged  station. How is morale affected? How do we effectively address a ship going under? How do we best help those around us wake up before the Titanic incurrs its fatal scrape against undetected icegbergs?


David Whyte shares his own story of allowing a non-responsive, sleepng captain  to call the shots, even when he and his mates detected changes that signalled danger  ahead.  The ship was almost lost because each mate on that ship did not activate his/her own internal captaincy.  This incident was David's wake-up call!  


How do we activate responsible captaincy -even when we do not formally have the role of Captain? 

On "coming out of hiding" p. 56

""In order to assume our captaincy, we should not genuflect before the imposing array of other captains. We must stop indulging in worshipful idolatry of Bill Gates or Jack Welch (in their wiser moments, they surely wish to escape from that idolatry) and put our energies toward taking the short but difficult next step on our own pilgrim's path to self-knowledge. So long as the path is a real conversation with the greater world, it will lead us right to the frontier of presence we desire."


Describe characteristics of "presence" you desire to share in the workplace? with family? with friends?
What conditions and circumstances support our capacity to maintain characteristics of this "presence?"
What conditions and circumstances threaten our capacity to maintain characteristics of this "presence?"

Moving from initiation into elaboration ...how do we transition?

"The imaginative eye sees an enormous transition from initiation to elaboration.  The morning was the beginning; the afternoon is for building upon whatever beginnings we have made, otherwise we don't seem to have the energy for anything new.  It's the reason we don't make important appointments for the afternoon unless we can't help it.  We know the person is past their best at receiving our idea no matter how much the energy of our presentation.  We panic slightly if we intuit there has been no real beginning made in the morning." Crossing the unknown sea..., p. 203-204


Perhaps this is why some of us can just grab a cup of something barrelling out the door... into a car... pounding the pavement ... onto the bus ... the train ... to reach without delay that streetcar named Desire calling us to get on with what we wish to be for this new day.  

David posits that plans for our day do not begin in the morning.  Night prepares us in many ways, organizing what we need available internally to resolve the old and initiate the next best step toward our new day's goals. Morning ushers us on stage to bring life to possibilities in mind.  Many people choose simply as possible to grab home's essentials, shut doors behind us, and making a virtual beeline to the workplace found as is...

However, others of us need to take substantial time in preparing ourselves for this meeting of minds at work.  Many people even get up two hours or more earlier than the time it takes to shower, dress, and be at work.  Morning ushers us onto the stage where life's possibilities are co-created.  Some of us set morning's foot upon this stage engaging personally preparatory props and rituals.   Meditating, jogging,   chanting & stretching our way into oneness with this time and space, right here and right now - special transitions prepare plenty of  minds and hearts to interface deliberately with intentional work.  

More traditonal counterparts might find themselves reading morning papers with a standard breakfast that works for such champions.  Still others become ready for morning work through lifting weights ... or a long hot shower while listening to tunes ...or that just right voice reading aloud this day's news.


At different times in my life, I've selected ways from all of the above.   Different kinds of work and different circumstances may call for changes in how we step onto the day's public stage! What matters perhaps is getting the results that give us strength and staying power to move from initiating a good day's work to elaborating upon this work as the day moves toward evening...

Cool

Daylight Savings Time and an extra hour of sleep for our work week!

Howling winds beyond darkened panes...icy rain pelting glass...this morning I am glad I set my 

morning alarm for 5:30. Baby, Orient is cold outside! Sis' boyfriend texts a photo of Madison's first 

snowfall. Connecticut teachers and schoolkids have the season's first two-hour school delay. Todayheralds in a new era for those of us who live East and Midwest ... the 

freezin' season of our work year.  

Naturally, I adjust! I decide to practice yoga on my mat beside my warm bed for the next hour. This 

makes much more sense on a frosty morning as I imagine the biting alternative. My inner Mother-

Father are pleased their now middle-aged daughter no longer needs to unnecessarily brave harsh 

elements ...nothing left to prove to self weathering the world. 

So instead of being sucked out the front door by a ferocious North Wind... only to turn my latest 

umbrella inside out, I simply tune into muscles on my mat ... delighted to stretch deeply, warmly.  

Crossing the Long Island Sound outside, snow becomes slushy flakes...an hour later, Mattituck will 

report it's first snow just like it's sister to the north, Madison!

We know the weather shapes us ... from our choice to curl under covers for another ten and skip the shower to where we decide to take up residence in our world. Warm and dry climate? Dramatic change of seasons? Gentle seasonal shifts? What will it be? Where we choose to live engaging our livelihood can be deliberate or just handed down to us. My sister (nurse)and her boyfriend (teacher) clearly live and work where they do deliberately...both texted, "YEAH!" at the sign of first snow this morning.

The same level of deliberate engagement can characterize our day's work. I like to be around people who love who they are while they are working. They sizzle with enthusiasm, they speak in passionate tones, they care about making a difference. But these same two people (nurse and teacher) when interviewed reported that as young adults, they chose their fields from among the sources of work available 

-at that time.  

Do we have an inner compass, acting on our behalf ... a kind of Career Yenta -detecting a good match between our personal resources and work fields of possibilities? A good match allows the space to say,"YEAH!" in our work's freezin season.

Did the nurse and the teacher detect spaciousness in their respective fields? Spaciousness that allowed them to wend their way to the just right form of nursing, and level/discipline in teaching? A couple of blogs back addresses the importance of "spaciousness" in our lives. Perhaps most fields of work offer an element of spaciousness to those who enter with proclivity for the thinking, the dispositions, the necessaries of the "job requirements."

How does "spaciousness" play out in 

your field of endeavor? your place of 

work? autonomy in the decisions you 

make daily that matter?

How does spaciousness -or lack 

thereof- determine when we stay, andwhen we leave?

How does spaciousness in our work shape us, and in turn allow us to shape the character of our work? allow us to leave our passionate mark upon the 

field in which we live out our livelihood? make our contributions of merit?

Thoughts??? Blog, blog, blog...

How good work gets done...p.119

David writes, "We seem to have to learn about the illusions of speed indivual by individual, generation afer generation. Yet speed by itself has never been associated with good work by those who have achieved mastery in any given field.  Speed does not come from spped.  Speed is aresult, an outcome, an ecology of combining factors in a person's approach to work; deep attention, well-laid and well-sharpened tools, care, patience, the imagination engaged to bring disparate parts together in one whole."

Consider the following question as you reflect on your workplace:
When do we rush ourselves?
What's gained by rushing?
What's jeopardized by rushing?
Who rushes who? and why?
Is there something greater to be gained instead through cultivating "deep attention, well-laid and well-sharpened tools, care, patience, the imagination engaged to bring disparate parts together in one whole."